Family Christmas Santa Dinner Gone Wrong

Last night we went to a Family Christmas Santa Dinner with some very good friends of ours.

They have twin boys that are 2 and 1/2 years old, all the kids get along fabulously, the adults get along smashingly and well…we like to sit around and watch the kids go crazy while we drink cocktails.

We are perfect together.

So when we were invited to this country club family dinner, we of course wanted to go!

Santa would be there!

Elf Balloon Creature Makers (have no idea what to call them) would be there!

Buffet Dinner! Which included a kids section filled with all of my kids favorite beige foods: chicken nuggets and mac n cheese.

And of course….cocktails!

The night went very smoothly for the most part and I truly have no horror stories. However, it wouldn’t be an outing with my kids without some colorful events.

So here we go: The Top Gone Wrong Events of the Evening

Event #1: Sitting On Santa’s Lap

The kids wanted NOTHING to do with sitting on Santa’s lap. Tyler actually bucked himself off which was actually quite impressive. Sadie sat there and frowned and refused to tell Santa what she wants for Christmas. When asking her why she won’t tell Santa, she replies:

“I already told Mr. Mango to tell Santaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” (Mr. Mango is our Elf on the Shelf)

Okay then. Don’t tell him. Even though you are sitting on his lap. Whatever.

She has also informed me that she is asking Santa for a Pillow Pet.

Shoot Me.

All I can think of when I hear the term Pillow Pet is that damn song….

“It’s a Pillow!!! It’s a Pet! It’s a Pillow Pet!!!” (see you now are singing the song if you have ever watched the Sprout network)

You know what this means, right? I have to go BACK out to the store and do MORE Christmas shopping.


Okay back to my story. See, Pillow Pets make people do weird things!

Here are the 2 best pictures of the Santa Lap Visit:

It really is scary to sit on some strange man's lap.

After the Santa visit, the kids did enjoy their balloon holiday figures (Rudolph, Candy Canes, etc..) mostly because they got to beat each other over the heads with them.

Sadie and her Rudolph Balloon with a PINK nose

Event #2: Dinner

We then moved onto dinner, which was moving along very smoothly. Tyler didn’t really want to eat dinner, but what else is new? The kid hasn’t had dinner since the month of November (NOT joking). Sadie was behaving perfectly, stayed in her seat and was actually eating. Score for mom and dad.

One of the twins was rapidly firing chicken nugget into his mouth when he got that look.

The *something is stuck in my throat, I can’t breathe* look.

You know what look I am talking about right?

Yeah…that one.

Well as soon as someone came to his rescue, he corrected the problem on his own. He simply just barfed all over his plate. I suddenly lost my appetite.

Even though it wasn’t one of my kids, it was still an evening gone wrong event.

This was followed by all 4 kids eating massive bowls of ice cream…with toppings. And Christmas cookies.

Ice Cream + Christmas Cookies = Crack for Kids

Massive bowls of ice cream = Sugar High Crazy Ass Kids

Which leads me to my next event….

Event #3: The Wine Spill

Once the kids were fully loaded with sugar, they decided it would be a good idea to run around the country club dinner room. There were kids everywhere and they were all crazy…so what the hell. Go run.

Josh and I took turns following them around to make sure they didn’t do any permanent damage to the room. Or eat glass ornaments off the tree.

They finally settled into one area that had couches and chairs. A chair. Thank you…mommy would like to sit down now and enjoy her wine.

The next thing I know Tyler is running at me FULL SPEED with both of his arms out and pushes into me. Not only into me….into my wine glass.

Which is filled with red wine.

Which then spills ALL OVER my brand new Banana Republic top that I have NEVER worn before.

Tyler – 1, Mommy – 0

It was time to leave.

Event #4: Loading Up in the Car

After rounding up the troops and all of our gear, we headed out to the car. I was still cursing under my breath about my shirt and at the fact that I would now be doing laundry when I got home. I hate doing laundry on Sunday night.

I was loading the gear into the car, as Josh was buckling Sadie into her car seat. Tyler was casually standing near him pointing out all of the cars and trucks in the parking lot. I finished loading the gear into the back of the car and bent down to pick up Tyler.

Just as I bend down…..

Tyler BARFS.


All over himself ~ shirt, sweater, pants, shoes and you guessed it people. Hair. How he got it in his hair I will never know.

All over ME ~ jacket, over the red wine on the new shirt, my pants.

Tyler – 2, Mommy – 0 (still)

I am seriously a barf magnet people. You can’t make this stuff up.

And so ends the evening of gone wrong events…and the worst, I had to stay up and do laundry.

{You didn’t think I would leave you all hanging into the holiday week without a barf story did you? What can I say…I deliver.}

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  1. julie CG says:

    NOT THE NEW SWEATER…. seriously. What is about moms that makes us unable to wear new clothing? Better luck at New Year’s! (at least the sweater won’t be new if the worst happens with wine. or barf.) Merry Christmas….and happy new cashmere.

  2. OMG, you just had my Thanksgiving… but on Christmas.
    Only there was nothing for my kids to do except target expensive items in my aunts house… plus, there was no wine to be had.
    Your kids are adorable, even crying on Santa’s lap.
    JustMom420zaks’s last blog The Very Best People in the World

  3. Kristin Strathearn says:

    awww, country club memories. i remember when my dad had to pay christine to find my gold necklace when i lost it running around crazy after dessert. i don’t think i barfed that night, but i guarantee my picture on santa’s lap is an awesome display of pissed off for making me sit on that fat man’s lap. i think i made up for my lack of barfing when i projectile vomitted on the plane to mexico and they had to change the entire seat mid flight ;)

  4. Jen says:

    Sometimes, don’t you just wonder wear the cameras are? Because come on, night like this have to be staged. Right?

  5. Tim@sogeshirts says:

    Wow Rachel the night you had sounds like one of those meet the fockers movies. Now I don’t have to see the new one. You just saved me 11 bucks. It does sound like you are a barf magnet which really sucks. Sorry about your new top too plus having to get a new glass of wine? boo to that. That was funny about your daughter telling the elf to tell santa. She is going to be able to get stuff done.

  6. Mindy Noel says:

    This is why I dread taking my child anywhere with the words “country” and “club” are on the same sign…….last year was easy because he was so young, but now that he’s walking/running – there is no way we are going to the club – unless it’s summer and we are swimming :)

  7. Bryce says:

    Wow, now that is a story! It’s no wonder our kids drive us to drink!

  8. 1. You’re hilarious.
    2. I would cut someone for that reindeer balloon. As I do believe that’s normal balloon animal attaining practice.
    3. I feel awkward sitting on strange mens’ laps too. But sometimes you’ve just gotta fight through it.

  9. Your kids barf more than any other kids I know. Seriously.

    You are SO lucky!!

  10. Shell says:

    Oh, noooo! And you so needed that wine, too!

  11. Wendy says:

    Oh man!!! That is the single worst Holiday Dinner Story EVER. Hopefully someday you’ll be able to look back on it . . . without wanting to barf.

    I do like the reindeer balloon. That’s something my daughter would LOVE!
    Wendy’s last blog Crios de Susana Balbo Torrontes

  12. Theta Mom says:

    You always keep it real which is why I adore you.
    And you already know how I feel about that whole trip to see Santa. #annoying

    And the pillow pet? Both of my kids want that damn thing, too. I had to run out and buy the unicorn and the bumblebee.

  13. Keva says:

    This I why I follow your blog. ;-)
    Keva’s last blog Mcdonald coffee killed my car

  14. kassie says:

    What an evening.
    Our memorable ones always seem to end in barf too. :)
    kassie’s last blog Happiness Project

  15. I’m cringing more because the wine spilled than the barf. What is wrong with me???? I have never ever ever gotten a good pic with santa because some child is always terrified. This year, it’s still Coop’s turn. SIGH maybe when the boys are 17, 16 and 13???

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma What’s For Dinner
    Alex aka Ma What’s for dinner’s last blog Tasty Tidbits – Holiday Tips

  16. Erin says:

    Glass ornaments? Seriously?
    I so hope you saved that shirt!
    And I got pillow pets for the boys, a dog for one and for the youngest a BEE…that is all I hear BEE…..Mommy? BEE! BEE! BEE! BEE! Mommy? BEE!!
    I’d rather be put in a round room and told to pee in a corner!
    Erin’s last blog TWINS!!


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