The Dinner Table

Scene: My family dinner table

Date & Time: Thursday, September 15th at 6:00pm

Participants: Rachel, Josh, Sadie & Tyler

*****

Sadie: “Mommy this pasta is delicious!”

Me: “It should be, it has about a pound of butter on it.”

Josh: “Oh, that explains why when I try to clean it up off the floor it shoots out of my hands and flies across the room.”

Sadie: “No silly Daddy! The pasta doesn’t fly!”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Me: “Tyler, you have only had 3 bites of pasta. You need to try your chicken and zucchini please.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Sadie: “Is this zucchini different? It looks different.”

Me: “Sadie, would you like me to cut your zucchini into smaller pieces?”

Sadie: “Yes, but only if this zucchini is from our garden.”

Josh: “Of course it is from our garden.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Me: “Tyler, I heard you the 1st time. You are not all done. You need to have your no thank you bites and then stay at the table until everyone is done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Sadie: “I don’t like this zucchini.”

Josh: “Then try your chicken please.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Sadie (gagging on said chicken): “I don’t like it.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Me: “This is Costco Rotisserie Chicken! The best chicken in the world!”

Sadie: “I don’t like it. Can I have more pasta?”

Me: “No more pasta until you have some no thank you bites of chicken and zucchini.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Sadie: “Can I have some ice cream please?”

Tyler: “I WANT ICE CREEEEEAAAAMMMMMMMM!!”

Me: “Nobody gets ice cream unless they eat their chicken and zucchini.”

Tyler: “I want Joe Joe cookies.”

Josh: “I thought you were all done?”

Tyler: “I want Goldfish.”

Me: “Okay…nobody gets anything else to eat unless you finish more of your DINNER!”

Sadie: “But I waaaaannnnttt ice cream!!!!!”

Josh: “Then finish your dinner.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

Tyler: “I’m all done.”

*****

End Scene

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Dinner Table Partners in Crime!

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55 Comments

  1. I would have been “all done” at that point too! HA HA!

    But I would like some Joe Joes please…. I ate ALL my dinner! ;P

    p.s. this sounds EXTREMELY familiar…

  2. I was literally chuckling out loud at this… not at YOU of course, but totally with you… I am SO there (minus a child! and often a husband) ;) what exactly IS a “no thank you” bite? maybe I’ll have to adopt that phrase…

  3. Kids, you gotta love em. But why is it so hard to get them to try food? Why are they born with such a love for junk food? How can they arrive already brainwashed? Then after eons of dinners like the one you just had, they grow up to be gourmet cooks and shop only in farmer’s markets.

    Is it OK to actually say “eons of dinners?” I know at the time it seemed like each “happy family dinner” lasted for an eon, which was always about 10 seconds longer than my patience.

  4. Were you at my house for dinner last night?! This sounds so familiar! What is a “no thank you bite”? I may have to somehow incorporate that into my families meals. My oldest is SO picky.

  5. Oh boy!! Sounds like a real treat at dinner time!! Can’t wait for that phase!! Asher got up at 230am and 6am this lovely morning!!! : /

  6. I am so jaded after 11 years in the trenches – unfortunately it doesn’t always get easier that I can just tune out these conversations now. I can actually have them without my blood pressure rising at all.

  7. That sounds so familiar! My boy always pulls the “I’m done” crap, but not even 5 minutes later he wants a snack. Those “no thank you bites” sound intriguing. What are they so I can give them a try?

  8. this scene sounds awfully familiar, were you peeking in my windows this week?

    Getting a three year old to eat anything good for them is proving to be an “adventure” for me. ;) Who can blame them, Ice Cream is good. LOL

    plus I love the idea of “no thank you bites” what a great concept.

  9. Funny. Good one.

    Yes, dinner is nuts. We get the “I want ice cream!” Sometimes it’s “I want a popsicle.” I would pull my hair out if I had any.

  10. Oh geez… I think that same conversation is going on in every single American household right this minute. ANNOYING. Except my husband joins the kid in complaining.

  11. The only difference at my house is that it ends up with me slamming my face into the table, telling my kids they are ungrateful turds and then rushing towards the bottle of wine. Or perhaps that isn’t different, you just didn’t mention it.

  12. That’s hilarious to me right now – know why? Because I have no children.

    Talk to me in about 5 to 10 years. This might make me cry…cry because I’m wishing my kids were this well behaved at the dinner table! ;)

  13. Pingback: 3 Tips To Cope With Your Alcoholic Spouse On Thanksgiving | Alcoholic Spouse Advanced Help

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